


Colors (or black and white?)

by Selovy



Category: supercorp - Fandom
Genre: DON'T READ IT IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ANGST, F/F, Heavy Angst, i warned you, last kamel shitty scene never happened, post after 2x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:24:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9913085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selovy/pseuds/Selovy
Summary: Lena feels guilty and decides to leave Kara's life, Kara realizes her feelings for Lena, Alex is there for her. Hank is being a d*ck.I'm bad at summaries , just give it  try if you're a sucker for angst





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all my Supercorp masochistic childs](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+my+Supercorp+masochistic+childs).



Her whole life she’s been hearing whispers. Whispers of a little voice inside telling her what is right and what is wrong. That voice has been her only friend in her whole life. The only thing she’s ever trusted. The most common whisper of that voice that’s imprinted on Lena’s heart and mind is that _love is weakness_. Love simply does not exist for her. It’s something people are delusional about and she really doesn’t have the time to deal with something so silly. All she’s ever felt is power, but also emptiness. Confidence, but also loneliness. Optimism, but also numbness. White, but also black.

She’s built her walls so high up, that no one can get inside, even if they tried. What happens, though, when someone is not only persistent but also has super powers and can literally crash those walls down? When the little voice suddenly disappears and now all she can feel is a strange emotion that can’t even be explained. Like someone just came rushing through the door of her soul and started painting every corner of it. Like…all of a sudden there are colors in her life, no more black and white.

She knows what happens. She feels scared. Scared that if she keeps letting Kara Danvers do that to her, she’ll end up with a shattered heart and a broken soul.  She hates feeling like this.  Lena has always been in control of everything. That’s what she’s been taught to do. Keep all her emotions inside and never let anyone see her vulnerability. The problem is that she has been trying so hard to hide her feelings and pretend when she is around Kara. But the more she tries, the more Kara just paints another part of her soul with an unexpected color. She is a Luthor for God’s sake, why does Kara try so hard for her? Why every time she rebuilds the walls, Kara just finds her way in , seeming like she doesn’t even try hard for this to happen?

Lena knows Kara is Supergirl. Even an idiot with just using his eyes can understand that Kara and Supergirl are actually one person.  She is not mad that her friend hasn’t told her this, because it’s understandable… Not because she is a Luthor, since Kara has made it clear that a last name does not define someone. But because she wants Lena out of trouble, safe and protected, and Lena appreciates, even though she doesn’t like it. No one has ever cared about her the way Kara does. Hell not even her own family, which she admitted to Kara the day her mother used her once more… She was such a fool to even for a second believe the words of Lillian.

When she and Kara talked after what happened, she had almost kissed her after hugging her. It was something she couldn’t stop, like a magnetic pull towards Kara. Thank God Kara had bent down to take her purse, otherwise things would have gotten out of control. That’s what scared her the most. Her own mother keeps betraying and using her. Why would she keep giving her trust to Kara, a stranger, when her own family does this to her? She has no reason to doubt Kara, but what if one day history repeats itself? Should she really take this risk? Hell should Kara take that risk? Of having her in her life and trusting Lena so much? What if she’ll be the one in the future that’ll hurt Kara somehow? Even the thought of that saddens Lena and now tears start running down her cheeks… Kara risked her own life just to save her the other day. Metallo could have easily killed her, if that green creature hadn’t  showed up at the last minute. If this happens again? If someone kidnaps her and Kara goes to rescue her again and this time the inevitable happens? She needs to push Kara away… She needs to leave National city. Wiping the tears away she stands up and calls Jess in.Once Lena updates her assistant about her plans and asks for her driver to wait outside LCorp, she starts writing a _letter_.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey Alex… Thanks for coming” Kara says once Alex gets inside the apartment.

“Of course Kara, you know I’m always here for you” Alex tells her with a smile.

Kara smiles back and then sits on the couch lowering her head, grabs a pillow and brings it to her lap. Alex just furrows her eyebrows, sensing this should be one of their serious conversations. She joins Kara on the couch and lifts Kara’s chin up to meet her eyes.

“What’s wrong Kara?”

“I…I think I’m…” Kara can’t keep looking at her sister’s eyes so she stands up and looks everywhere else.

“Kara come on, is this about Bor-El again?” Alex says , boredom already clear in her voice, “I told you that you could give it a try, but if-“

“What? Alex no it’s not him I have feelings for!” Kara shouts and then widens her eyes realizing her slip.

“Oh…” Alex says and furrows her eyebrows again. “Is it Winn? Nope nevermind, Oh ! It’s James? I thought it couldn’t work between-“

“It’s Lena!” she shouts, ‘cause she just can’t take it anymore

“L..-Le-Lena?” Alex asks widening her eyes comically.

“Yes…I realized that after yesterday’s events… Her life was in danger and I was so worried Alex… I… I-I for a second thought what would happen if-if she died and-“ Kara stops talking and feels someone caressing her cheeks.

“Kara breathe, she is alive, she is safe. YOU saved her!” Alex reassures her and Kara wraps her arms around her sister. They stay like this for a while until Alex pulls back a little and looks at her sister.

“You should go talk to her”

“But-“

“Kara. Dress up and go talk to her now.”

Kara just nods, she understands that she can’t pretend to be friends with someone or lie to their face. That’s what Monbastard did and she hates it. Plus Lena deserves the truth. Today she’ll talk to her about everything. Once she is ready, she hugs her sister one more time, thanks her and leaves.

When she reaches the balcony of LCorp, she is very confused. It’s still early and there’s no one in Lena’s office, even though the window is open. She looks around and notices a white envelope standing on Lena’s office. When she approaches it and sees her name on it “Supergirl”, her confusion just grows even more.  She smiles when she opens it, because it’s a handwritten letter and this means Lena wrote it for her by herself. Although she frowns once she rereads the first line, “Dear Kara”. _WHAT? LENA KNEW ABOUT IT AND I WAS SO OBLIVIOUS OH MY GOD,_ Kara thinks and continues reading :

_Dear Kara,_

_I’m writing this letter to let you know that I loved and cherished every single second spent with you. After a long time I can actually understand how it feels like to be loved, thanks to you._

_I’ve known your secret identity since a long time now. Though, I never pushed you to reveal this to me, because I wanted you to feel safe enough to share it with me. To me you’ll always be Kara, the person who made me feel again, not Supergirl or Danvers. You saved my life more than once, without asking for anything in return…And for that I’m really grateful._

_I decided to leave National City and get back to Metropolis. Please don’t follow me there. As much as I really want to have you in my life forever, it’s not possible. There will always be a danger, a risk you’ll have to take between what you want and what you must do. I can’t do this to you. I don’t want to be an obstacle in your life, Kara._

_Your friendship is one of the most important things that happened in my life. I will always love you Kara. Thank you for being the person I needed most._

_Good Bye,_

_Lena_

Kara feels her legs go weak. She kneels down, holds the letter to her chest and starts crying. She repeats all the words again and again and she just can’t accept that… Lena doesn’t deserve to be unhappy her whole life, because of what her family did. They’ve both been through a lot and deserve to be in each other’s life now more than ever. _No,_ she thinks and stands up, determination clear in her eyes, _I won’t let her do this to herself._ She storms out of Lena’s office and sees Jess gathering some papers from her desk, getting startled when the door opened.

“SS-Supergirl?” she wonders and widens her eyes. “Miss Luthor left an hour  ago”

“Where is she heading Jess?”

“To the airport, it’s the last flight of the night”

“Thank you” , Kara says and flies away leaving a confused Jess behind.

At the airport she flies through the doors so quickly , almost knocking everyone out on her way, because many people are exiting. Searching around she can’t find Lena so she approaches the ticket counter.

“When’s the last flight?” she asks the employee with authority.

“Hello… _Supergirl._ The last airplane took off 10 minutes ago. It was reserved for a VIP though.”

“Thank you” Kara says and flies out of the airport, flying away and looking around to check where the airplane was. Once she catches a glimpse of it from far away, she quickly flies towards it. But getting closer and closer to it, she also hears a strange sound coming from behind her, like someone is approaching her. She turns around but comes in contact with a fist to her face, which sends her right at one of the engines of the airplane, crashing onto it. The airplane starts falling but Kara can’t do much, she gets more and more hits from who else ? Cyborg Superman. She _loathes_ that guy. She starts fighting back , but also looking at the plane.

“Hank just give up already, there’s no point in fighting!” Kara shouts.

“But we’re just getting started Supergirl” ,Hank smirks and pulls out a small _green_ knife. _Kryptonite,_ Kara thinks and just by the thought of it her body starts weakening. She glances back again at the plane and watches it slowly turns down now and the pilot has no control over it. _Lena…_ She flies fast towards the airplane and lifts the top of it higher, trying to stabilize it. This only brings her in a more vulnerable position and Hank grabs this opportunity and drives the knife to Kara’s arm, which Kara successfully dodges, but then he maneuvers and the knife makes a cut on her right side, making Kara wince from the pain, lose her balance and in result the plane now feels heavier than before. She can’t lift it anymore, under the effect of the Kryptonite and the cut on her left side.

Hank punches her and tries to cut her again but Kara dodges the cut. The airplane is nearing the ground now and she feels so angry. Lena is in there she needs to do something. With all the strength she has left, she dodges again Hank’s attack and successfully kicks the kryptonite knife out of his hand. Now she can beat him easily. Punch after punch , kick fter kick, Kara is trying to catch the plane, but Hank pulls her back. Now she is _beyond_ furious.

She punches him as hard she can, then kicks , he loses his balance. Kara turns around watching as the airplane almost crashes on the ground , she flies as fast as she can, she can feel it though, she is not fast _enough_ , tears start gathering in her eyes.

“LENA!”, she shouts… but that’s not enough to stop the plane from reaching the ground…not enough to stop the crash, the explosion … Or enough to stop Hank from driving the knife through Kara.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sorry. I warned y'all


End file.
